Archive for March, 2012


March 30, 2012 4 comments

Thank God that’s over.

As you may have guessed from both my lack of posting and the content of some of those posts, this month has been a bitch.

I have to be honest I can’t think of a time that has been as challenging as this one, two deaths in the family and the constant threat of losing your job really put a strain on you.

Luckily at this point in time, if the rumours can be believed, the job situation should soon improve, but sadly at a massive cost. The company I work for have recently lost many good people and whilst its move into administration has not directly affected me so far, an astonishing amount of friends and colleagues have not been so lucky.

Hopefully April will bring much better times for everyone.

On a personal level things are already looking up. I have my Holiday, starting a week Sunday to look forward to, which under the circumstances I am so glad I booked; a break is really what I need.

Unfortunately all these occurrences have made my vow to join the “post a day” club pretty much impossible, and the aforementioned holiday means that April is not going to be a month that I hit that goal either, so I guess I’ll have to make the May the month to hit that target now.

Thankfully through this time I have had a lot of support, both from my friends, family and work colleagues and also readers of this Blog.

I would like to say a big thank you to TMPinSYR who has not only frequently visited my blog, but also provided encouraging words, as well as sharing my blog with his own readers.

With that in mind I feel it only fair to point you in his direction and encourage you take a look at what he has to say.

TNPinSYR’s Link also gave me the highest views in any given day on my site, which isn’t surprising; it put my blog before an entirely new audience. Based on my viewing figures and their locations (I love that feature btw) it also seems at least one or two of those readers have continued to check in with what I have to write, this is the nice side of the internet and social media in general.

As homage to this support I thought what might be a nice touch would be to do the same thing for a fellow blogger, someone else who is just starting up and perhaps would love some new readers from all over the world.

Maybe it will catch on (perhaps people do it already), maybe they will do the same thing and in time we can create some kind of “Six degrees of Kevin Bacon”  like phenomenon where all the bloggers who started in 2012 can be linked via 6 or less moves.

So without further ado meet E.V

From The Mind of a Muggle


Putting it out there

March 29, 2012 4 comments

I’m tired of saying it this month, but it’s been a tough week, hence the lack of posts over the last few days.

As I don’t have much in the way of opinion, or funny anecdotes to share with you I thought I might go back to the heart of the this blog.

With that in mind below you will see my first piece of “writing” that I have subjected to the public domain. It’s short. I don’t know where, if anywhere it is going, and it may just have been a whimsical 10 minutes that led me to write this and it will be never seen again, but hey I thought I might as well share it and get the public vote.

On a side note this is not anything to do with the “project” that led me to start this blog in the first place which sadly is still stuck right where it was without a single sentence added. Whilst this blog is obviously encouraging me to write something, as of yet it has not helped me push “so far untitled” (Just in case you wondered thats the reason for the name of the Blog) any further along.

Hopefully that will change, I think my problem is the planning, much as with the piece below I’m ok at beginnings, I can maybe even get as far as having an ending in mind, but middles; no chance.

Its putting the flesh on the bones of an idea that I find so tough, connecting A to C via B.

Anyway I hope you enjoy this (very) short introduction to something that may or may not turn into an idea for the future. Please keep in mind this is at best a 1st draft, and at worst is the scribblings on my notepad. So don’t be too harsh.


 The last thing I remember of my home is the night in the waterfront tavern, not the safest place to be, but I loved it there. With a glass of cheap wine or on occasion, rum in my hand, I could sit and listen to the sailors tell their stories of exotic places and the beautiful women they had met on their voyages. It was perhaps these stories that led me that night, my eyes heavy with tiredness and drink to declare my wish to join them, sail the seven seas and witness such riches as they had.

If I learnt one thing that night it was not to take a man at his word when he had rum flowing through his veins. Unfortunately my companions had learnt no such lesson.

I don’t remember leaving the tavern or how many more drinks I consumed or with who, the first thing I do remember, is the screeching of seagulls wheeling above, their cries stabbing through my throbbing head like knives.

I figured I had stumbled, collapsed and fallen asleep in a drunken stupor on the docks, but as I opened my eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight I realized this was not the case, I was on a ship; with that realization the ship rocked to the rhythm of the sea and I felt a wave of nausea come over me.

That morning is perhaps the most miserable of my life, although the following weeks were comparable. I found myself aboard the Vera Cruz, a Merchant vessel bound for the new world.

Since tales of riches beyond imagining and entire cities built of gold had been coming back from the Americas, every captain was trying to join one or the other of the fleets bound for this bountiful land.

I took a few weeks to find my sea legs as the other sailors called them and my constant vomiting was a great source of a amusement to the veteran sailors, however the captain didn’t share there amusement and my already wretched journey into seamanship was increased by the lashes I received for not pulling my weight.


Categories: Uncategorized

Sleep Tight

March 23, 2012 2 comments

Its been a slow day, nothing much happend and therfore I have nothing much to write about, in fact I think I might even get an early night.

Unfortuantly my body is so used only recieving five hours of sleep that frankly going to bed any time before 1am is likely to result in me waking up at four in the morning and feeling a wreck for the rest of the day, or me simply staring at the ceiling for hours  before I finaly drift off.

Luckily after watching what is fast becoming one of my favourite shows, 10 o clock live, I have found what could be a solution.




Armageddon – Episode 2

March 22, 2012 4 comments

It’s that time of the month again.

As promised I bring you my monthly feature about the immanent end of the world as we know it.

Last month I focused on Nemesis, A hypothetical star. This month I figured I would move away from space and take a look at something that could happen right here on earth.

The Magnetic Polar Reversal.

Basically in this End of the World scenario the magnetic poles would, well reverse. North would become south, East would become… well actually I’m not sure how that would be effected technically East and West are just a direction based on where North and South are, I mean Technically there would be no reason for these to change, I mean it would already be confusing enough adjusting to living in the North despite still living in the same house, without also adding into the equation that I’m now living in the North West rather than the south east.

Saying that, much like explaining Left and Right to an alien via a radio, without a point of context east and west are pointless directions, so I would guess we would go with the flow and change them to.

Anyway I digress, this is all well and good but im sure you all want to know is how likely is it that this could happen and what the consequences could be.

Well first off, yes this is a scientific possibility. Unlike Nemesis this is not theoretical, this has already happened on a number of occasions, the last time was about 730,00 years ago, and as far as we know there is no rhyme or reason for this, so could it happen in 2012?


Could we predict it?

Not really.

As we currently have no known cause it’s impossible to say whether it will happen in the near future or some time a million years from now, on the occasions it has happened there is no pattern so whilst 730,000 years may well give the impression that we are “due,” it has in the past happened at both longer and shorter intervals.

So what are the side effects of such a shift, well obviously there hasn’t been one in recorded history so let’s be honest we can only speculate, but theoretically increased seismic activity resulting in earthquakes and volcanoes is likely, changes in the behaviour of various animals, birds for example are generally believed to use the magnetic field, and it would apparently effect all electronic devises.

That’s right people; shocking as it is your shiney new Ipad3 might not be all that useful in a measly 9 months time, but lets be honest by then the Ipad3S will be out and it will be redundant anyways.


 Much as we have no recorded history of this event, there is some good news.


Human beings have been on the Earth for a number of million years, during which there have been many reversals, and there is no obvious correlation between human development and reversals. Similarly, reversal patterns do not match patterns in species extinction during geological history.

Some animals, such as pigeons and whales, may use the Earth’s magnetic field for direction finding. Assuming that a reversal takes a number of thousand years, that is, over many generations of each species, each animal may well adapt to the changing magnetic environment, or develop different methods of navigation.

Not Tonight, Ive got a Headache

March 20, 2012 1 comment

Nothing much to say tonight I’m afraid, after the events of the last few weeks and the continuing saga at work it’s tough to get a clear head and think of something to write.

I will keep powering through and should come up with something for tomorrow, and if not then on the 22nd we can look forward to Armageddon – Episode 2.

On a Side note you will be pleased to hear that the Upholster visited today and our Sofa is now fully complete, although I do believe I am going to be asked to re-arrange it in the not too distant future.

In the Interest of balance

March 19, 2012 2 comments

After my rant yesterday I feel it is only right that today I turn my attentions to the other end of the spectrum

Now don’t get me wrong I like Old people, they are sweet, caring and well meaning and let’s be honest even their worst representatives are at the very least loveable, and I for one cant wait to a be a Grumpy Old man

However there are certain things about them that drive us nuts.

Upon reaching retirement age they should by all accounts be setting off on cruises enjoying the fruits of their labour, pottering around the garden with a floppy sun hat or be sitting in an arm chair, wearing slippers, smoking a pipe whilst reading an oversized newspaper with a magnifying glass.

They should not I’m afraid to say, be working on the cigarette counter in Sainsbury’s, or in fact making up 90% of the staff in any given supermarket. I mean don’t get me wrong its lovely that despite spending the 60+ years of their life so far, nose to the grindstone, they still want to contribute to society. But in case they haven’t heard the youth of today are struggling to get their foot in the door.

Now to be honest my real problem isn’t the fact that they are doing it, let’s be honest if they weren’t there isn’t going to be too many “Jobseekers” knocking their dole money on the head for the chance to stack beans. My real problem is the way they go about it.

The typical older person sales assistant is friendly, polite, attentive and chatty, all things you would assume are great in a customer facing environment, but let’s be honest, there not. A two min purchase of cigarettes turns into a 15 min conversation about how little Timmy, their second cousins, granddaughters, roommate’s new baby is getting on.

Due to this a queue builds, you glance at your watch and realise that half your lunch breaks gone and all you wanted was a pack of smokes, Curly Worley and a can of Coke., but not all is lost you can see the queue moving it slow but if you’re lucky you might just make it back in time to down your drink in one, chain smoke a couple of ciggie’s and make a quick bathroom break.

But then the worst happens, the next customer wheels their Shopping cart to the till, reaches in and grabs their nineteen lottery tickets and asks them to checked, You considering making a break for the self checkout but then you realise that the entire experience has wound you up so much that if you don’t get a nicotine fix your likely to kick a puppy on the way back to work.

So you wait.

They check all the tickets, if you’re lucky they are all losers, they’ll buy another 19 but it’s fairly painless, albeit time consuming. If you’re unlucky they have won a tenner, then they will need to discuss how often they play, how they never win anything, what scratch cards they should spend their winnings on and last of all what they would spend their winnings on if they hit the jackpot.

Which is to be frank an excellent point, what would they do? I mean not meaning to be offensive but what does a 95 yr old woman spend £15 million on?

Based on experience I would guess a cup of tea and a nice cream bun before starting their next shift at Sainsbury’s.

Lets Get This Party Started

March 18, 2012 4 comments

Due to the circumstances of the last couple of weeks I have been taking a different train in the mornings and at a different time of day. Not a very exciting piece of information ill grant you but it has exposed me to different people than the usual pre-8am zombies that I normally join on my way to work.

Whilst on one such journey last week I overheard 3 young men, late teens or early twenties having a conversation about a house party they had attended recently, this eventually led on to stories of previous house parties that they had been to and some enlightening anecdotes in to the world of today’s youth.

What I heard, I have to say was pretty appalling and what more was more shocking was the amusement that they found in the events.

Now I feel I should first point out, these where not the monosyllabic, Burberry wearing “chavs” that you would expect this kind of behaviour from, based on their dress sense and accent they would have been more at home at the RGS than Jamie’s Dream School.

One story started off stating that due to people finding the party not up to scratch, the attendees decided to wreck the hosts house, resulting in such hi-jinks as stealing the Microwave, TV and just about anything else that wasn’t nailed down, the storyteller did point out that he wasn’t involved in such acts, he simply helped himself the totally acceptable party bag of a “few DVDs and 360 Games.”

Another went on to laugh at the misfortune of their rich friend who lived in a million pound country house, who not only had their house trashed, 5 aside football played in their front room, and various items removed  from the house, but also had their two expensive sports cars stolen in the early hours of the morning.

Hilarious, i’m sure you’ll agree.

Tragic as these things are, you would at least hope, these things where insured and whilst that won’t have done much to relieve the distress caused by this betrayal by your friends, at least the possessions will have been replaced. Something unlikely to help the host of the last party mentioned.

In my eyes the worst one however was the person who took the ill advised notion to have a house party on Xmas Eve. The glee with which these young men explained how they found the platters of buffet food all prepared for the family visit on Xmas day, then decided to eat said fare, as well as stealing/breaking the various Xmas presents they found upon their ransack of the house, and setting fire to their christmas tree.  Merry Christmas.

With friends like these who needs enemies.

I’m no stranger to the house party, I had my share of them as a younger man, and even had one that ended with my mothers jewellery being stolen and one of the guests being arrested later that night for brandishing a replica gun in the high street, I used to hang out with a different crowd back in those days.

However this was far from the norm and I can promise you, neither me nor any of my other guests found this the least bit amusing then or do so now.

The rise in unemployment, the recession, binge drinking and a million other excuses are often trotted out as reasons for the behaviour of young people today, which in its worst form led to the shocking scenes of the London Riots.

But for me the totally sober, middle class recollections of these college attending young men just proved to reaffirm my belief that whilst we might try to justify this behaviour with terms like ADHD or put it down to poor social backgrounds, actually there are just an awful lot of young people out there that are simply twats.



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