Home > Uncategorized > In the Interest of balance

In the Interest of balance

After my rant yesterday I feel it is only right that today I turn my attentions to the other end of the spectrum

Now don’t get me wrong I like Old people, they are sweet, caring and well meaning and let’s be honest even their worst representatives are at the very least loveable, and I for one cant wait to a be a Grumpy Old man

However there are certain things about them that drive us nuts.

Upon reaching retirement age they should by all accounts be setting off on cruises enjoying the fruits of their labour, pottering around the garden with a floppy sun hat or be sitting in an arm chair, wearing slippers, smoking a pipe whilst reading an oversized newspaper with a magnifying glass.

They should not I’m afraid to say, be working on the cigarette counter in Sainsbury’s, or in fact making up 90% of the staff in any given supermarket. I mean don’t get me wrong its lovely that despite spending the 60+ years of their life so far, nose to the grindstone, they still want to contribute to society. But in case they haven’t heard the youth of today are struggling to get their foot in the door.

Now to be honest my real problem isn’t the fact that they are doing it, let’s be honest if they weren’t there isn’t going to be too many “Jobseekers” knocking their dole money on the head for the chance to stack beans. My real problem is the way they go about it.

The typical older person sales assistant is friendly, polite, attentive and chatty, all things you would assume are great in a customer facing environment, but let’s be honest, there not. A two min purchase of cigarettes turns into a 15 min conversation about how little Timmy, their second cousins, granddaughters, roommate’s new baby is getting on.

Due to this a queue builds, you glance at your watch and realise that half your lunch breaks gone and all you wanted was a pack of smokes, Curly Worley and a can of Coke., but not all is lost you can see the queue moving it slow but if you’re lucky you might just make it back in time to down your drink in one, chain smoke a couple of ciggie’s and make a quick bathroom break.

But then the worst happens, the next customer wheels their Shopping cart to the till, reaches in and grabs their nineteen lottery tickets and asks them to checked, You considering making a break for the self checkout but then you realise that the entire experience has wound you up so much that if you don’t get a nicotine fix your likely to kick a puppy on the way back to work.

So you wait.

They check all the tickets, if you’re lucky they are all losers, they’ll buy another 19 but it’s fairly painless, albeit time consuming. If you’re unlucky they have won a tenner, then they will need to discuss how often they play, how they never win anything, what scratch cards they should spend their winnings on and last of all what they would spend their winnings on if they hit the jackpot.

Which is to be frank an excellent point, what would they do? I mean not meaning to be offensive but what does a 95 yr old woman spend £15 million on?

Based on experience I would guess a cup of tea and a nice cream bun before starting their next shift at Sainsbury’s.

  1. March 25, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    I like your observations and your writing style reads like you’re just talking- which I like. I can’t wait to see what you’re really working on!

    • March 26, 2012 at 8:08 pm

      Thanks, I got a couple of things in the fire but tbh even thhough the blog itself seems to be doing pretty well albeit with some set backs this month, I have to confess I have yet to devote any time to the actually inspiration for writting the blog in the first place

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