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Twishite

At some point over the Xmas/new year period E4 screened the first of the Twilight Saga and Wife decided to Tivo it. Until now I had managed to avoid watching it, I’d heard enough from various people to come to the conclusion that it wasn’t the kind of movie that was going to appeal to me.

Despite being an avid vampire fan I had a preconceived notion that Twilight would be utter tosh, something that had led to Wife calling me a “Vampire” Snob, something that was further reinforced by my unwillingness to watch Vampire Diaries or True Blood, to be fair I didn’t want to watch True Blood as I had got the 1st Season for Wife as an Xmas Present but I couldn’t really say that.

So tonight with nothing really on the TV, we decided that we would clear some space on the Tivo and get round to watching what is one of the biggest movie (and book) franchises of the last 5 years.

As you may have guessed by the title, it turned out my gut feeling was correct.

It was indeed utter [insert expletive of your choice here]

I can’t comment on the book, perhaps Stephanie Meyer’s book is a literary masterpiece, perhaps Hollywood just butchered what was an outstanding piece of fiction, I just don’t know. I haven’t read it so far, and frankly I won’t be in the future.

But anyways back to the film.

First and foremost, that’s 2+ hours of my life I will never get back, it was so dull that whilst it made me annoyed enough to come and right this post, I’m starting to forget exactly what it was I was so upset with and what exactly I did for the last few hours.

There was not one character I could relate to, like or otherwise engage with.  

The storyline was weak, unimaginative and predictable.

The Dialogue and its delivery were appalling.

The over the top “Vampire” makeup really got on my nerves.

Oh and the most frustrating, annoying and anger inducing part?

It’s got NO SODDING VAMPIRES in it!

Not one!

I don’t know exactly what the creatures that Edward and his family are, but they are not Vampires. Vampires burst in to flames in the sunlight; they don’t turn in to 1970’s disco ball!

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  1. E. A. Hughes
    January 5, 2013 at 11:52 pm

    Sorry, so you … didn’t like it, am I right?

    🙂 at least you have saved me from ever having to wonder if I might possibly have missed out on something there.

    I’m looking forward to Les Mis with the wife in a few weeks. Hopefully a more satisfying visual meal than Twitrite.

  2. Cathie
    January 5, 2013 at 11:56 pm

    I’d say the films are a fair representation of the books! You are definitely not the target audience 🙂

  1. January 5, 2013 at 9:41 pm

Dont stalk me in silence let me know your there!!

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